The 500 Hats of a Teacher

A friend asked me a few days ago what the most stressful part of being a teacher was. Another friend commented that the sheer vastness of paperwork and developmentally inappropriate assessments was the most stressful part. While I agree with her wholeheartedly (and it runs a close second to what I'm about to say), I've spent the past few days thinking about that innocent question and I've come to a different conclusion. Not being able to teach is the most stressful part of teaching- hands down.

As a special education teacher I was prepared for the idea of paperwork and documenting. I have to admit, however, that no one could have prepared us for the exact amount of paperwork and documenting that comes with this job (and it grows every year). Honestly, it's a bit ridiculous.

I have a total of 7 students for whom I'm responsible. While this may not seem like a lot, it means 7x the amount of paperwork a general education teacher has for the one (maybe 2) students with IEPs who are in their rooms...and most of those students have one area of weakness (communication, curriculum, independent functioning, or social/emotional). My students have all 4. I have to collect vast amounts of paperwork for each goal within each area of weakness. Hat 1- Data Entry Processor.

In addition to collecting all this data, I'm responsible for writing the actual IEP. For those of you who don't know what this entails let me sum it up- hours. Hours of administering assessments for each students' goals as well as state/district testing. Hours of calculating scores and/or interpreting results of said assessments. Hours of time for writing what the student can do and gently inserting areas of weakness. Which means more hours of thinking of polite ways to phrase things such as "A blind man on a galloping horse can see your kid has ADD- why can't you?!" or "Stop trying to be their friend and be their parent!" Hat 2- Editor, Hat 3-Messanger. Hours of thinking of the next step so an appropriate goal can be written for each area of weakness. Hours of making sure all the minutes of the school day are documented. Hours making sure accommodations are in place for testing. Hours of lugging the piles of paperwork to and from school and home. Hat 4- Laborer, Hat 5- Grader. And of course, hours of sitting in meetings presenting these findings to bewildered parents. Hat 6- communication specialist.

Think that's bad? Ha! I haven't even touched the surface of the many hats I wear. On any given day I wear at least 10-15 hats including, but not limited to zookeeper, timekeeper, counselor, xerographer, advocate, dental assistant, detective, behavior therapist, doctor, emergency management specialist, foreign language specialist, interpreter, information officer, janitor, nutritionist, punching bag, and mom. And, on rare occasions, I actually get to wear my teacher hat!

Please don't misunderstand. I love my job. I love my students. The problem arises when I don't get to do my job. I very much so wish I was able to wear my teacher hat more often and not the many hats that accompany the paperwork for which I'm responsible. Again, I realize this comes with the territory of working in special education, but it's still not right. It's a shame I don't get to spend my days actually teaching...as a matter of fact- while I was complaining to my amazing (because he listens to me complain daily) boyfriend about my day at work he reminded me that I chose to become a teacher. My response? "Yea, but that's the problem. I don't get to teach." About sums it up, doesn't it?

I have to admit- as big a fan of Dr. Seuss as I am, I've never read/heard "The 500 Hats of Bartholemew Cubbins" until today. I am, however, very much aware of the idea of wearing 500 hats...

As a side note- I can't take credit for the witty names of some of these hats. For a complete list (and some humorous explanations of these hats), please see The Many Hats of A Teacher. While Mr. Jones is a middle school teacher, many of these hats apply in various forms across all grade levels. Go check it out and laugh like I did. Then feel free to add any other hats you can think of in the comments!