Back to School...Back to School...To Prove to Dad That I'm Not A Fool!

Ok, so I know I didn't blog alllllll summer (#sorrynotsorry) but let's see if we can start this school year off right. I've been in my classroom since August 1 trying to make it look just right and didn't officially start back until the 15th. But that's ok, because by the time we officially started back, my room was 80% done and I was able to focus more on the team meetings and planning aspect. Was I prepared for the first day of school today? Can I get a big NOPE! I felt totally unprepared this morning as students came strolling into my room at 7:40- BUT everyone ate, told me they didn't want to go home, and went home with the right people- so I'm calling it a successful day! Of course, I completely forgot to take any pictures of my classroom before the kids got there...so I took them this afternoon (pardon the supply bag mess- I promise, all the supplies are organized and stowed away now). Enjoy my 2016-2017 2nd grade class reveal!

This is what I started with....just a pile of stuff everywhere. And some of it belonged to the teacher that was in there before me (who was in Jamaica at the time...). It was a pain working around her stuff because I didn't know what she was going to be taking with her or leaving behind.

This was the first project I tackled (with my best friend's help- HI MICHELLE!). I love portable word walls for so many reasons, but their space-savingness (yes, I made that up) takes the top spot! And as Michelle can attest- this took a lot longer than any sane person would have spent on it...I mean about 4 hours (with a lot of taking it down and putting it back up to make the spacing line up). Trust me when I say my best friend is better than yours. :)

Writing area! This will be a Daily 5 rotation area with plenty of writing papers for students to write whatever their hearts' desire.

Cozy little reading nook. My students are already arguing over who is going to sit where (which being the first day of school, I'll ignore...but tomorrow- no arguing!) The supply buckets will hold any and all materials that my students will need for an Daily 5 rotations (or modified Daily 5 as it will most likely end up being)

Small group reading. Ignore my mess of supplies, please!

Classroom library (I promise I have color-coordinated boxes on the way!) and what will be Learning Scales (Please, don't even get me started on those things :( )

Front of the room with WBT rules, thinking maps, objectives, and a Mimio (*squee!!*). My desk area is off to the left of this picture.

Gathering area. We use this for calendar math, read-alouds, and during Daily 5 rotations for quiet reading areas. Also, my 1:1 technology cart (*double squee!*).

Book Boxes and my "Jazzy Work" wall. I love, love, love how this wall turned out and can't wait to start putting up my students' best work! :)

It was a lot of sweat and tears (thankfully no blood), but it's done. The kids love it and it's home now. On a side note- they told me they didn't want to go home today (and my incredibly-hard-to-reach-been-warned-about-this-kid-by-numerous-adults student told another teacher he likes me!) so I must have done something right with them (or it could be the fact that I let them play with play-dough this afternoon lol).

It's With a Heavy Heart...

This post is difficult for me to write and therefore hard for me to share...so please bear with me.

When I started teaching 9.5 years ago, I was in love. I had an amazing class full of what I call vanilla-deaf kids (meaning they were just deaf- there weren't any other concerns). They were unable to meet the demands of a general education classroom, but they were functioning kids nonetheless. I loved that class. Sure, there were behavior issues (aren't there always?), sure there were compatibility issues (mostly stemming from the fact that these kids had been together since Kindergarten and they needed new friends), sure there were academic issues (otherwise they'd have been mainstreamed), but overall it was great. The following couple of years were good too. Not as great, as the higher kids had moved into the other room (I can't teach them forever, right?), but still good. And then it happened. The downfall...I had never had a problem teaching the same kids for up to 4 years (K, 1, 2 and usually a repeated year), but then a group of students came in that weren't functioning. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. But let me explain- they came in with severe behavior issues, severe academic issues, severe social/emotional issues, no parent communication...suffice it to say they were/are the toughest group I've ever had to teach. I watched as one of my student's emotional issues got worse and worse and there was nothing I could do about it because no one believed me (except for those of us in the trenches everyday). It got to the point where I was being beaten up daily and not lightly either- I was being punched in the face, bitten, kicked, scratched, hair pulled, told to f*** off, spit at, and just generally abused. I had no support from the parents or administration. I was basically told that because I was an ESE teacher it was part of the package and I was expected to take it. Needless to say, this was where my love of teaching this extremely special group of students began to wane. I felt completely drained- mentally, physically, and emotionally. I was forced to watch as one student's mental health took it's toll on her and the rest of the class as I was unable to teach everyone else while attempting to handle her. This went on for 4.5 years and got worse and worse each year. And the lack of support from my administration also got worse and worse as they refused to do anything to provide support. The day they removed her from my class and placed her in the classroom next door, they assigned her a unique aide (a paraprofessional assigned directly to her needs)- which she's had ever since. That action showed me how much my administration disrespected me. I was angry, beat down, sad, and ultimately disenchanted with the entire system.

But I soldiered on. I tried to get back to teaching the rest of the students in my class- but then another behavior issue came about. This time SEVERE ADHD.  Again, we were in survival mode. This was the next student I watched get worse and worse. He's unable to retain any information and needs someone sitting directly next to him to control his behaviors. It's absolutely ridiculous. We've tried EVERYTHING to help him, but nothing is sticking. I mean, I've never been a proponent of medication but this is a child that we were practically begging the parents to look into it (they continue to refuse to even consider it, by the way). Summer came, and, again, I'm exhausted. My own health and well-being was suffering and I couldn't take much more. I took the summer to regroup and began to believe that next year would be better- I came up with ideas and ways to help my students become more independent and to generally function better. And there was a bright spot- a new principal was coming in and who knows what that would bring (mostly negatives, by the way). I started this year with 3 new students, 3 returning, and 1 that came to us in December. But here's where the problem lays- my classroom has become a dumping ground for these unique kids who have a plethora of issues and oh, yea, can't hear on top of it. And in our county their deafness trumps everything else, so they'll always be placed in a D/HH setting regardless of their disabilities. And in more and more cases, that's not the best placement. Without violating HIPPA laws, let me just say that of the 7 students I currently have only 3 are functioning close their assigned grade level, the rest are below a Kindergarten level. There are expected to be 3 students coming in next year all of whom are way below their assigned grade levels in addition there are severe medical concerns too. I know that it's not these kids' faults they were handed this life. They do the best they can. But the lack of support, communication, and desire is unbelievably draining.

Let me be clear- I have the utmost respect for teachers of physically disabled and intellectually disabled students. I know I could never handle that. It's not for me and I'm perfectly willing to accept and admit that. But now that's what I'm being expected to teach. My degree is in Deaf Education but I'm no longer teaching those vanilla deaf kids anymore...I'm still in love with the idea of teaching these very special learners, but that's not the reality anymore.

I never wanted to be part of the statistic of special education teachers that leave the field due to burn out or various other reasons (it's something like 20% annually). I never wanted to give up (which is how I see it, whether that's accurate or not). But I know that I can't continue like this. I dread getting up and going into work everyday and I'm not happy. So, for my own health and well-being, I'm choosing to exit this particular field of education. I was lucky enough to have a great friend who got me an interview at a different school and I've opted to take on a first grade general education class next year. It's extremely bittersweet. I'm sad to be leaving the school I've called home for the past 9.5 years and the friends I've made. But I'm looking forward to a change net year.

If you've stuck with me throughout this long post, know that I'm grateful for you reading to the end. This post was written on an emotional roller-coaster and so it's longwinded, maybe too honest, and maybe jumps around without clarifying (sorry!). I'm hopeful you can understand where I'm coming from and not resent me too much. I hope you continue to check back for updates (as I'll still be blogging, just with a new purpose), and I hope you appreciate my honesty. For those of you who continue to trudge through the mud daily, know that I continue to respect and admire you for all that you do. I know what you're going through, and should you ever make the same decision I have, know that you'll always have my complete understanding and support.


With love,

Classroom Reveal!

Whoop-whoop! I'm so excited to be linking up with Ashley from Schroeder Shenanigans in 2nd and Angie from Lucky Little Learners once again this month! And this month is a great topic- one I know we are all dying to hop around and look through each other's blogs at- CLASSROOM REVEALS! This is quite possible my favorite time of year. All the classrooms look so cute, friendly, and inviting to begin with...and then our kiddos show up and destroy get comfortable in our space. Such is life. :)

Before we get going, I think some basic information about my teaching situation is in order- I teach a very specific type of special needs student: deaf/hard of hearing. This means that I have a small class (only 6 this year!) and a specially designed room. There's carpet on the floors and walls to absorb sound so nothing echos which messes up what they hear in their hearing aids. I also have specialized lighting in order to reduce glare. But I have NO emergency lighting and that's always fun when we're under a code red and the blinds are shut. Pitch black. And kids who depend on being able to see me. Always a good time. I try my best to arrange my room so that I have maximum open space so that I can see my students and they can see me when I try to get their attention.

I think that about covers it, so, let's get this party started!

Here is my entire classroom from a corner up front. As you can see, I have an odd shaped room. It's honestly not conducive to an environment where constant eye contact needs to be maintained. But I work with what I've got. I only have 6 students so seating arrangements are relatively easy.
Anybody want to take a guess at the one thing that drives me absolutely insane every minute of every day I spend in this room? Anyone? The clock! It makes me nuts that it's always behind my head...and as if that weren't bad enough, there's a light that goes across the top of the whiteboard/SmartBoard so it's 3-D which completely HIDES the clock from my sight even if I turn around. How insane is that? I use my phone for everything since I can't see the clock (and then usually get in trouble for having my phone out when an administrator walks into my room...*sigh*)!

And here's my room from the back corner. That bulge above the whiteboard is much clearer in this picture. And let me just tell you how many people come into my room through the door (the one with the window) and then try to go out through the other one (and end up in my tiny closet). Always good for a chuckle. Hopefully with the center/manipulative storage unit that won't be a problem any longer. :) I'm also lucky enough to have a mounted projector for my SmartBoard so I don't have a bunch of extra wires and an A/V cart in the middle of my room (that came after tons of begging and pleading for about a year!). But, I'll admit, that sometimes it would be nice to be able to move my SmartBoard since it takes up about a third of the whiteboard.

Here's my classroom from the front. Textbooks and Journals are kept in the blue bins, the pockets on the tables are for our reward system. The door leads into the 3rd-5th grade Deaf/Hard of Hearing classroom.

Here's an up close look at my word wall. Love, love, love the new headers I made (and I love monkeys too! lol). :) I use an interactive word wall. Students are allowed to take the ring of words off any hook and go back to their seats to write the words they need. Then the come back and put it away. This year, I'm planning on using the word wall more during center rotations and our writing block. :)

Next to my word wall is my student work display. Those are the two boards I'm required to have...which is a good thing because in a room this small I only have room for these two boards. Those feather boas and two masks are authentic...bought somewhere on Bourbon Street (or a side street tourist shop. I can't remember anymore) in New Orleans. I had another student added to my roster since this picture was taken so now there's 6 pieces of yellow paper. On the first day of school I have my kids color a paper with their name typed up to add to the papers. They love knowing where their Jazzy Work will be displayed all year! :) I haven't really decided what I'll be using the long table for this year, though I'm hoping to get some computers in my room (*fingers and toes crossed!*) and that's where those will go.

Over here in a little alcove is where I'm going to teach reading. In the past I've taught it at the big table up front, but I never came up with a good solution for storing the materials. They were always kept back here on the countertop. And for the past five years I've had a nurse in my classroom all day for a medically frail child. Nurse would set herself up at this round table so she'd be out of the way. Well this year, she finally moved to the other class so I have my round table back! Yay! So I'm going to try it out and see if it's better to teach from back here. Being back here also gives me eyes into my reading area that I don't have from the front of the room which will be great for the few times I'll have more than 3 students in my room during this time. **Just as an aside- scheduling in our 3 rooms (2 teachers and 1 SLP) is a complete nightmare!!! It usually works out that because I have the younger, less mature students that need more adult help I rarely have all my students in my room at any one time without an aide. I'll make sure to do a post about what our scheduling nightmare looks like at a future date**

Also you can see where my kiddos Brag Tags will be displayed. This is the first year I'm going to try this and I really, really hope they understand this concept!

Across the room is my reading area. Again, I work with what I've got. :) My students are unable to pick appropriate books for themselves nor are they really able to read so they each get a box of books with their name on it and I rotate out the books about every 2 weeks. I have a bunch of books stored in the tall cabinet. They're usually pretty good about only looking at the books in their box or that are available on the shelves. See that rocking chair? Yea, that was mine from when I was about 2. And I can still fit in it...albeit a little sideways. But still, that counts for something, right? :)

This year I actually have built in calendar time!! So it's displayed here and we gather on the carpet around here to do our daily calendar routine. I got sick and tired of the same boring green and orange squares so I created my own calendar squares. Now I don't want to puke every time I look at it. The beanbags were not my choice. I'm just sayin'. These were the brilliant solution of my AP who thought that it would solve some of the behavior issues I had/have (he's gotten much better in the past year) with a student. My AP thought that when he got frustrated or needed a sensory break he'd be able to come over here and lay down for a few minutes to recuperate...Well, I knew that was NOT what was going to happen, but who am I to argue with the AP? I just wish she would have asked me first because I could have given her much better ideas of things to get. Anyway, the first time this student got frustrated he was led over here and told to relax for a few minutes. I turned around to head back to the front to keep teaching and a beanbag chair went flying past me. Yea...Nowadays he doesn't throw them, but he doesn't relax on them either... :-/

Last but not least, over by the closet, is my alphabet and schedule. I got sick and tired of posting the alphabet to the light box thing above the whiteboard and coming in every morning to find it on the floor because NOTHING sticks in these dusty, humid, moldy rooms. And by the end of the year the strips would be destroyed from falling down every night and curling up on the bottom because they're too wide for the thingy...So this was the solution I came up with and I haven't heard any complaints, yet. :) My schedule- once the kids arrive- contains their objective for each subject and eventually a small clock showing the time (it's on my never ending to-do list).

So, that's my classroom. I didn't think anyone wanted to see my TINY closet complete with a Signing Exact English (completely outdated and no one uses exact english anymore) book from 1973 that I'm NOT ALLOWED to get rid of. I've already asked. There's a bunch more crap in their that I'm not allowed to get rid of either and it makes me crazy since I have limited storage space to begin with. But, like I said, I work with what I've got.